In need of gift ideas for the insufferable librarian in your life? You’re in luck. With help from CafePress and Etsy, the 100 Scope Notes Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has you covered.

(Click the images below to buy)

For the librarian who can’t remember what their profession is:

The appropriately named “Librarian Sweatshirt”. This pairs nicely with pants that say “pants” on them.

For the children’s librarian who wants scare everyone at the next story time:

Imagine the looks on their faces during the next Very Hungry Caterpillar read-aloud when you pull this out. Just imagine the looks.

For the librarian who should have hung it up in 1991:

This sticker gives off just the right “I’ve given up” vibe.

For the librarian that needs the perfect throw pillow to complete a room:

… although I’m kinda scared about what that room might be.

For the librarian who’s confused about their job description:

Anything?

For the librarian who needs just one more tote bag:

So that’s what happened to my bedspread.

For a librarian you would like to offend:

“When I saw this sticker, I immediately thought of you!”

For the obsessive note-taking librarian:

Yes, this is a notebook. Can you think of a better place to record your thoughts and feelings than in this handsome keepsake?

For the librarian who’s a little too “in tune” with the Twilight series:

A knit hat based on… Edward Cullen’s eyes. Next up, a shirt based on Jacob Black’s pecs.

Coming Soon: Children’s Book Lump of Coal Gift Guide.