In a stunning move, the International Children’s Literature Commissioner announced this morning that there will henceforth be no more television and movie adaptations of beloved kids books.

Citing oversaturation, the Commissioner explained that the ban would last one year, or until “People have a chance to write more stuff.” In front of a packed audience, a tired looking Commissioner rattled off a list of popular children’s titles that would soon be making the transition.

Olivia, Scaredy Squirrel, Where the Wild Things Are. Sadly, that’s just the recent picture book tally.”

After taking a moment to regain his composure, the Commissioner continued.

“Okay, chapter books: City of Ember, Geronimo Stilton, Ranger’s Apprentice, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Tale of Despereaux, Guardians of Ga’Hool, I could continue.” Muted gasps were audible among the crowd.

When questioned about his reasons for the ban, the Commissioner responded by saying,

“We’ve got to be proactive. Some of these books should stay books. I’ve got five words for you: Love You Forever the movie.” The assembled crowd nodded in quiet understanding.

About these ads